i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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