it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
