what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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