he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
