Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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