at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
