u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize