I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Help me help you realize you are a moron
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
