I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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