if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
