I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
and she was petting her beer can
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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