Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize