Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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