Please, let me fuck your mom
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
