saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
