Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
