Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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