Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Also, beer. Big fan.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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