that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
