spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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