it was like eating out sand paper
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
