forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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