idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
