God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
