haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
