It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
