That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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