He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
