They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
