he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
