you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
no you cant smoke seaweed
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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