I just cut my nipple shaving
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
