Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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