I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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