Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize