if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
