YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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