Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
