Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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