ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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