well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
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