Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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