am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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