She is in my trunk
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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