I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
