dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
My cat gives me a boner
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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