I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
soo... how was my night?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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