i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
