"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
