Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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