Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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