Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
