My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize