Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize