if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
