He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
