Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
