having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
This house was built for laser tag.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize