I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
