Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize