i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
