We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
