It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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