all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
