Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize