I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
