walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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