Will you blow on my dice?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
