Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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