he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
