its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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