Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
