you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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