it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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