just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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