Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
