I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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