She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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