3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
